


open your heart up

by orphan_account



Category: New Amsterdam (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, F/M, mututal pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:19:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22310170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Relationships: Max Goodwin/Helen Sharpe
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	open your heart up

“Wow, you look awful.” He playfully rolled his eyes and chuckled blithely at her teasing remark. Pulling the door open and stepping aside, he allowed her to enter inside of his abode. 

“Yeah, well, I've been at home dealing with a very fussy one year old all day.” Max adduced, closing the door behind her and gaitering back into the living room, haphazardly stepping over the unkempt clutter of Luna's toys that were strewn all over the floor from where she was playing earlier. “She's kept me up all morning. I just put her down to sleep about twenty minutes ago.” He explained as he cleaned up the mess of toys that loitered on his living room floor. 

Helen shrugged out of her jacket and absentmindedly tossed it onto the back of the couch. She rubbed her hands together, adjusting to toasty warmth that filled in his small abode, after having to endure the treacherous cold weather on the walk over here. Though she absolutely loathed New York's winters, she gladly upheld no hesitance in coming over. When Max texted earlier, asking if she could come help with Luna, Helen was more than estatic to come see the blue eyed, blonde haired bundle of joy that she had grown to love over these past few months. 

Of course, Helen always knew that she would be undoubtedly fond of the little girl; she had half of Max's DNA and it was just inhumanly impossible _not_ to love Max, so she was sure that Luna would turn out the same way as her father. What she didn't intend however was to develop this motherly attachment to Luna. There were days where Helen would just look at the little girl while she laid lulled into a peaceful slumber and this warm feeling of pure love and adoration would just fill all over her. 

The way the Luna burst into a bough of avid coos and giggles anytime she saw Helen, the way she would furrow her brows and pout her lips into a sad frown whenever it was time for Helen to leave, how she would curl her tiny body against Helen's chest and easily fall into a deep slumber, how she made grabby hands and wobbled towards Helen whenever Max brought her by Helen's office for a quick visit — everything about her made Helen love her like a mother. 

Helen never vocalized any of this to Max, she knew that albeit a year has passed, that talking about Georgia was still challenging for him. Besides, she would never disrespect Georgia's memory of being Luna's mother like that, she knew her boundaries. 

“Is she okay? She's not coming down with anything is she?” Helen worriedly asks, knowing that she's seen her fair share of fussy and grouchy babies to know that those were just the beginning side effects of being sick. 

Max smiled fondly as he glanced up at her. He was grateful to have someone like Helen to be in his daughter's life. She was always so attentive wherever it came to Luna. He adored that she cared about his daughter. “No. I checked her temperature earlier and it was normal. I think she was just having one of those days.” He says, scooping the last bit of toys in his arms before walking off to place them in her toy bin. 

Helen simply nodded before gingerly sauntering off into the kitchen. She notices a pot on the stove and inquisitively lifted the lid to peer inside. “canned Ravioli?” She scrunched her nose in distaste. “That's what you're eating for dinner? You should've said something, I would've brought some groceries over and cooked something.”

Max sighed as he entered the room. His fingers briskly mussled through his tousled brown hair. He shrugged, “I don't mind it. Besides, you already do everything for me. You're helping me raise my daughter.” He says, smiling sheepishly. And Helen begins to blush, her cheeks pool in a crimson warmth at his words and how he has just inadvertently referred to them as a family. “You do enough for me already, Helen.”

A silence stills over them as they stood in the middle of the kitchen; both of their unwavering gazes staring at each other. Helen is the first to avert her eyes away. She harrumphed thickly and wiped her hands onto the fabric of her jeans. “So,” She says, smiling half-heatedly at him. Recently things between them have been changing. There was always this certain _look_ he would give her anytime he stared into her eyes, and her name would roll of his tongue in a whispering ease anytime he said it, but lately he's been touching her more and she wasn't sure if he was fully aware that he was doing it; whether it be his hand resting genially along the small of her back, his hand brushing a few pieces of loose braids out of her face, or resting it against her knee whenever they were at the table in the cafeteria having lunch with Floyd, Max was _always_ touching her. 

Helen didn't mind it actually, she liked the feeling of his warm, slightly callused fingers against her skin. But it also made her nervous. Helen knew that there was always this unspoken thing that was between her and Max that they never acted upon. He was married at the time and she was dating Akash. Knowing that they could never cross that line, she placed her feelings for Max aside and attempted to move forward with Akash. It was working, until it didn't work. 

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop comparing him to Max and it saddened her because Akash really was a great guy, he just wasn't _Max_. Then the whole crash happened and Georgia died and well — that would've just been terrible timing for her to admit her feelings to him, so she pushed them aside yet again. 

Helen was uncertain of what Max wanted exactly. Sure, he looked at her with this intent look of awe anytime he stared into her eyes but still she wanted, needed to know how he felt about her and that this wasn't a one-sided crush of her foolishly pining over him. 

Witt Luna being fast asleep in the other room this was the perfect opportunity for them to talk without any distractions, it's just that Helen was so nervous that she could barely form a coherent sentence at the moment. “I-we should-about-and-I think-” She sighed in frustration. What was wrong with her? Why was she acting so shy and nervous around him?

She sees Max furrow his brows at her. Upon knowing Helen for nearly three years now, he had never seen her so flustered and nervous before. It was actually adorable. “You okay?” He asks, biting on his inner cheek to stifle back a wide smile from spreading across his lips. He could see that something was clearly bothering her and he didn't want it to seem as if he was mocking or laughing at her. 

“Yeah, I'm just—” Helen pauses. She shakes her head and sighs deeply again. “I didn't think it would be this hard.” She murmurs under her breath. 

The way her facial expression transitioned, Max could detect that whatever was bothering her was serious. He dropped the playful facade and immediately inquired with worry, “What is it? What's wrong?” For a brief moment he begins to worry that there had been an issue at the hospital that she was hesitant to inform him about. He had been absent from work all morning, and relied on Helen for hourly updates about the status of the hospital to make sure that it remained in one piece. But then there was this look in her eyes, this sad, look that flickered in her beautiful brown eyes that made his worries increase. “Helen?” He asks, now taking a tentative step towards her. Her silence was scaring him. 

Helen numbly gnawed on the plush skin of her bottom lip, her eyes hastily diverted away from his. She wanted to tell Max that she loved him as more than a friend, that her heart nervously fluttered anytime he was in her proximity, and that she sometimes envisioned what it would be like if they were together as a family. But, she also didn't want to ruin their friendship if his feelings were unrequited. He meant so much to her and it would absolutely break her heart if her admittance of feelings changed the dynamic of their friendship. She couldn't even imagine her life without Max or Luna in it. Helen knew that Max would never keep Luna away from her just because of some silly feelings but just the mere thought of it actually happening frightened her. _Maybe I shouldn't tell him,_ she inwardly contemplates to herself. Now was not the time, he was still exhausted from taking care of Luna all day and—“Okay, you're really starting to scare me, Sharpe.” the tenor of Max's voice retracts Helen from her deep reverie. 

She peers up to see his lips jutted in a downward frown. “Hey, whatever it is, you know you can tell me, right?” He says, softly and he's looking at her again, with that soft, lingering, meaningful look and it makes her knees go weak beneath her. His hand reached up and gently caressed the side of her face, she instinctively leaned closer to his touch, fluttering her eyes at the feeling of him. The padding of his thumb is tracing along the outline of her lower lip, Helen slowly blinks her eyes open and stares at him. She breathes in the features of his face; his angular jawline, his plaint pink pouty lips, his soft, azure colored eyes, the faint crinkles laugh lines by the corner of his mouth, _No._ She couldn't do this to herself. 

She knew that her and Max could not maintain a relationship. He was her boss, and a recent widower, single father, who already had too much to deal with. Besides, what if he wasn't ready to move on? Helen knew that he would always love Georgia she was his first love and the mother of his daughter, but what if Max wasn't ready to move on from her? Helen began to grow agitated at her traitorous thoughts, She shakes her head and removed Max's hands from her face. She doesn't miss the pained frown the moue's his lips as she takes a step away from him.“Sorry.” 

“No. It's not you Max. I-can't. _This,_ ” She gestures a hand between them, “All the touching and-and me coming over nearly everyday, and the late night phone calls—”

Max's frown deepens. This time he is the one that takes a few steps back. “Sorry. I didn't know I was bothering you that much. I'll stop. Problem solved.” He murmured. And Helen chides herself for making him so sad. Usually his puppy dog eye look made her coo at it's adorableness but now, he looked so hurt and it was all her fault. “I should uh, finish cleaning up while Luna's still asleep. You don't have to stay if you don't want to.” He says before turning to walk away, but Helen's hand hastily catches a grip on his wrist and stops him. 

“Max, I didn't mean it like that.”

He shrugged, “It's fine. I just didn't know that you felt that way.” 

_How did this all go so wrong so fast?_ Helen inwardly muses. Here she was attempting, though feebly failing, to tell Max how she felt about him and somehow she inadvertently made him come to the assumption that she thought he was a burden to her. “I don't. Its just all so overwhelming sometimes.” She confesses. He turns around and looks at her, eyebrows still creased in confusion. “The way you look at me. I never had anyone look at me like that and it makes me so nervous because I think that maybe you feel the way that I do. I-I love you, Max as more than a friend, as more than your colleague. I love Luna and I love coming over here after work and being here with you two. But, I know that you're still hurting about Georgia and I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for especially if you don't feel the same way. And if you don't that's okay because you two mean so much to me and I don't want to ruin our friendship over it.” 

Max stood there, completely aghast by her confession. He blinked rapidly as his mouth hung slightly agape. When he initially invited Helen over the last thing he expected was for her to admit that she loved him. It all felt surreal because of course he felt the same way, always has even when he was married and wasn't supposed to. They flirted, had meaningful talks, hang out with each other way more than they should've, and cared deeply about one another. Max knew it was wrong to harbor secret feelings for another woman while he was married, and at times, he hated himself for loving Helen so much. Because it was wrong. He never initiated or acted upon his feelings for Helen. But he could never deny his feelings for her no matter how hard he attempted to keep them dormant. There was always something that she did, intentional or not, whether it was her simply smiling at him or her chastising him for his unhealthy food choices, that made him fall in love with her even more. Max never would've thought that she felt the same way. She was always playfully brushing off his flirtatious gestures but now, he wonders if she was only doing that to protect herself. 

“You love me?” Max whispers, after a moment of silence. 

Helen nodded, her mouth was too dry and her nerves were to wretched to form a complete sentence at the moment. 

“Wow.” Is all he says and Helen feels herself begin to deflate in solemnity. “It's a good thing that I love you too or this would've been very awkward, huh?” He chuckles softly, watching as her eyes suddenly widened at his comment. “It's impossible not to love you, Helen. You're one of the most amazing women I've ever met. I've loved you since I met you.” 

“Max..”

“I love you, Helen Sharpe.” He walks towards her and cups her face within the grasp of his hands. “I am madly in love with you.” He whispers as he looked at her intently. He cranes his neck and bends his knees a little as he leans down. He could hear her breath nervously hitching as he decimated the space between them, getting closer and closer until their lips softly brushed against each others. Helen gasped in his mouth at the gentle contact. Max kisses her again, this time with more vigor as he presses his mouth against hers. He enthralls at her lips; how soft and supple they were, how they still tasted faintly of the coffee from the cafeteria, how perfectly they felt marred against his. He fluctuates her with feverish kisses, nipping softly and teasing her bottom lip within the gentle grasp of his teeth. He heeds in the breathy moans that she breathes into his mouth, how her fingers grip onto the fabric of his shirt and pulls his body closer until they're pressed flush up against each other. Helen stands on the tip of her toes and entwines her arms around his heightened neck. Their lips move in a perfect tandem; her succulent, plump ones pressing against his pliant, slightly chapped ones. 

It's perfect, she thinks as she tilts her head at a better angle and captures his lips within hers again. Max's hands rest on either side of her waist, she yelps in surprise when she feels him lift her up and sit her down onto the kitchen counter. She feels his mouth curl in a roguish smirk as he slots his body in between her legs. “I finally made Helen Sharpe speechless.” He murmurs against her lips, chuckling lowly as she playfully smacks him against the shoulder. 

“Are you implying that I talk too much?” She asks, raising an accusatory brow. 

“Maybe.” He answers, and she parts her mouth open, preparing to respond with a witty remark but he's already kissing her again before the words could even leave her lips. Max sucks on her bottom lip as his hands teasingly began to linger upward on her thighs. He notices the way her breathing suddenly slows, he pried his eyes open and pulled back a bit. “Is this okay?” 

Helen opened her eyes and heeds in his appearance; his face is completely flushed, his lips are pink and swollen, his hair is messily disheveled. The sight of him looking so debauched like this makes her whimper in a carnal need. “Mhm. More than okay.” She assures him before fisting her hands into the thin fabric of his shirt and pulling him closer again. _Mmph!_ He mutters against her wanton mouth. He crooks a hand underneath her legs and tightly wraps them around his waist. Helen feels a shudder tingling down her spine at the friction of their pressed bodies. 

“Can't tell you how many times I've imagined this happening.” He says, as he assists her in helping remove his shirt. He absentmindedly tossed it aside. 

“You've imagine us having sex?” She ponders amusedly. Max blushes deeply, he abashedly lowers his head as he sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck. “Hm. I'm flattered that you thought you even had a chance of seeing me naked, let alone getting into bed with you.” She teases, wiggling her eyebrows in a playful manner as she pulls the hem of her shirt over her head and tosses it somewhere in the forgotten mix with Max's shirt. “Okay playboy, stop staring and show me what you've got.” She said after he stared at her wide-eyed, ogling at her semi-nude body. 

Max's mouth is instantly on hers again, the sudden shy demeanor that submerged had now perished and he was kissing her hungrily, his large hands were squeezing anything on her body that he could touch. “You're sure you don't want to take it slow?.” He asked as they were now in the living room seated on the couch. She was straddling his lap and kissing all over his neck. He could feel his pulse quicken when her lips traveled lower and pressed a quick kiss against the apex of his throat. 

“We'll go slow next time. Right now all I want is for you to touch me, Max.” She breathes softly in his ears. That alone was enough for Max to palm her butt cheeks within the grasp of his hands. He turns his head, capturing her swollen lips in a deepened kiss. Helen moans softly and rolls her hips against his, causing both of their breaths to hitch. “ _Ooh_.” She shudders at the delicious contact. 

Max picks her up by the waist and eases her backwards onto the couch. His body hovered over hers as she writhed avidly beneath him. They're kissing, slowly, hungrily, messily, and his nimble fingers are caressing down her slender stomach, tentatively hovering over the waistband of her jeans, preparing to pull them over her curvaceous hips when the sound of Luna whimpering in the other room catches their attention. Max groans gutturally as his head falls to Helen's shoulders. 

“Fatherly duties calls.”


End file.
